Pregnancy Questions & Answers:
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
~~~~~
Did You
Know?
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
is observed October 15th every year
See Web site: www.october15th.com
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~~~~~
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the
birth of their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.
The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got
home, the husband dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was.
In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."
~~~~~
When choosing a name for your baby, go to the back door and shout it out
a few times.
~~~~~
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the
noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. --
Steven Wright
~~~~~
Did You
Know?
Louise Brown, the first "test
tube baby"
was born in England on July 25, 1978.
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~~~~~
Perhaps you know why women over sixty don't have babies. They
would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Submitted by Qiltmeister
~~~~~
A new Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.
At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any, she thought.
Then she heard his mother's reply. "No!" she said, looking in her direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!"
~~~~~
Seen on T-Shirts:
(Worn by a pregnant woman):
A Man Did This to Me, Oprah
Seen on a baby's T-shirt:
'Party - My Crib - Two A.M.'
~~~~~
Compliments of When Words Collide ~ Pun Comics ~
http://puns.mindbluff.com/puncom50.htm
One of our favorite Web sites! Be sure to
check out MindBluff.com
!!!
Top
of Page
Other
Information & Links
(These are not all humor sites...) |
The Evolution of Mom
Have Children?
If you have two or three, you really need to check this out!
www.angelfire.com/me/laurabernard/123Baby.html
ROFLMBO! It's so true!!! -- Submitted by
Cicec
~~~~~
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KINDERSTART.COM
Because kids don't come with instructions. |
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KinderStart is a new search engine for parents and caregivers of young children -- an easy way to information relating to children and child development issues. Search "Asthma" on KinderStart and you get organized and easy to use results on "Children's Asthma" not "Adult Asthma." Hundreds and hundreds of categories from sports to health to education, daycare and travel, as well as pregnancy and breastfeeding. |
~~~~~
~~~~~
Planned Parenthood Federation of America
810 Seventh Ave.
New York, NY 10019
Planned Parenthood believes that both parenthood and
non-parenthood
are valid personal decisions and seeks to assure that
all individuals have the freedom to make reproductive decisions.
~~~~~
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Inspiration &
Motivation
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Thoughts...
Talk and play with children.
It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.
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of Page ~~
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This page was last edited 02/14/05.
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