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Welcome to ButlerWebs' General
Webs for:
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Camping
& Hiking
Main Page &
Index
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We LOVE camping! So, of course, we have to have a Camping Category to share our
experiences and the information we accumulate in our travels. We
also enjoy exploring the Pennsylvania State Parks and private
campgrounds as well, and will include information and pictures to share with our
visitors. Hiking Information will be included in this category as well.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and
a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?", Holmes ask,
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why, what does it tell YOU?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."
Submitted by Rayes
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A loaded
mini van pulled in to the only remaining campsite.
Four children leaped from the vehicle and began
feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to
gather firewood, while the girls and their Mother set up the camp stove and
cooking utensils.
A nearby camper marveled at the youngsters. He
then told the Father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."
The father replied, "I have a system; no one goes
to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
Submitted by AA
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16 Steps to Build a Campfire
- Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
- Bandage left thumb.
- Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
- Bandage left foot.
- Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in
hand.)
- Light Match
- Light Match
- Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.
- Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.
- Apply burn ointment to nose.
- When fire is burning, collect more wood.
- Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for
more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."
- Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.
- Re-label can to read "gasoline."
- When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.
- When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.
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Little Johnny
didn’t do very well in his classroom. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard.
"Now," she asked Little Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in
the front?"
After a moment’s reflection, Little Johnny smiled and said, "Canoe?"
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A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
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You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
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In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
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The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
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The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.
The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
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It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
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In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
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This blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So, she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor
home!"
The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a
mini-van.
"But the blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor
home!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home, because we didn't have that as a
prize!"
The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!" So, she hands the ticket to the manager and he reads "WIN A BAGEL."
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Once there was a group of hikers climbing
Mt. Everest. The group leader gave the rest of the group some very important advice. "If by chance you see the Yeti, run, but whatever you do, Don't Touch The Yeti!!"
That night, after the group had set up camp, one member was in his tent, when the great Yeti came. The Yeti was standing in the doorway. The guy was so scared, he shot out running, but on his way, he touched the Yeti. The Yeti started running after him. The guy was running as fast as he could. He got off the mountain, but the Yeti was still following. He rented a bike and cycled all the way to the nearest city. Later, the man saw the Yeti coming. The guy caught a train and headed out of the city as fast as he could.
A couple days later, he saw the Yeti coming. The guy at once, got on a plane to America. A few weeks later, he sees the Yeti coming his way. The guy starts running as fast as he could, but he was too exhausted. He trips and falls. The Yeti comes up to the man. The guy gets up to his feet and says, "What do you want?!"
The Yeti reaches out to him and says, "Tag, you're it."
Submitted by Valerie Johnson
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For more humor, see our 100's
of Jokes & Cartoons Section for
Hunting, Fishing, Camping & Hiking Humor
Top - Page Directory
The Appalachian Trail starts in northern Georgia and continues through South
Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New
Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont and ends in Maine at Mt.
Katahdin, Baxter Peak, Baxter State Park.
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Studies show that hiking is
beneficial for a person's overall physical and mental health. Hiking can
help prevent heart disease, decrease hypertension, cholesterol levels and
weight, improve the symptoms of osteoporosis and arthritis, helps to control
diabetes and can also relieve back pain. Hiking is also a great way to
relieve stress.
Hiking can be a safe activity, but precautions should be
taken:
- Tell someone where you are going, sign-in at the trail
register, and stay on marked trails.
- Start slowly and build endurance.
- Wear comfortable, sturdy shoes. Dress in layers and be
ready for changing weather. Wear synthetic or wool. Never wear
cotton in the winter. Wear reflective clothing.
- Allow enough time for your hike - don't get caught in the
dark!
- Bring along water to drink, bug spray and sunscreen.
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If you like to sit outside eating bananas in your
favorite blue shirt, you're about to become a mosquito's best friend.
They're twice as attracted to blue than any other color and appear to love
people who've just eaten bananas. Source: Cracker
Barrel Old Country Store 2001 Summer In America
Top - Page Directory
You know that awful black soot that gets all over the bottom of
your pots and pans when you cook over an open campfire? You can avoid the
messy cleanup if you use one of those aluminum foil dishes or pie pan under your
pot. The foil transmits heat and collects most of the soot!
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Flies or bees bothering you? Spray them with hairspray and they will take a quick dive.
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Spray your garbage and trash with ammonia to keep the animals away.
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Sleeping bags reflect body heat back to you.
You can reflect the most body heat by sleeping naked!
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If you are camping in bear country, be sure to cook at least 300 feet downwind of your sleeping area.
Use baking soda to rid your clothes and hands of cooking odors.
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To season a new cast iron skillet,
grease
cookware with a thin coating of solid vegetable shortening. Warm utensil and
then spread shortening over the entire service of the pan. Then heat in oven at 300-350 degrees for 30-60 minutes, remove from oven and
wipe with a paper towel this completes the process.
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Camping Tips
Submitted by Spartan Caver
10/31/07
From my years in Boy Scouts:
- To facilitate meal preparations, do it the day before you
leave. Often when we would be on a limited time schedule, we adults would cook the next two troop meals, Thursday
night, refrigerate, then warm Friday night or Saturday night. This also applies to things
like Pancake batter as well.
- To have a steak dinner up on the trail Saturday night,
freeze the meat, wrap in paper like newspaper for insulation, keep in zip lock in ice chest until you start
out. By Saturday night, Voila! Steak Dinner a-la Campfire!
- Consolidate as much as possible. Put the paper towels in the
pots. Remove toilet paper from the roll and pack in zip locks. Take easy to prepare meals, like
Hamburger Helper out of the box and put in zip lock and cut the preparation instructions off the
back.
- Assemble all ingredients in one container as much as
practical. Dry noodles with can or dry peas with can or dry chicken all in one baggie just so you will know you have
everything you need for dinner.
- Make your own Gorp, trail mix. Get what you like to eat and put in a baby bottle
with the lid, not the nipple. It is pretty much crush proof, watertight, easy to store
and handle. (Old caver's trick.)
- Keep spare flashlight bulb inside the reflector under the lens. It rattles around so
you will know where it is. (Another old caver's trick.)
- Take one of those store bought firelogs, carefully cut them with a saw into slices of
log, use these as kindling. It is way cheaper than store bought fire starter, and the
same thing, and as safe.
- Cut a length of garden hose the length of your bow saw. Slice that and use it to
protect the saw blade.
- If you want a cold Dr. Pepper on the trail Saturday
night, slip two into one of the Boy Scout packs on a cold day
backpacking trip, just before you start out. Then that night, when
the scouts says, "Hey, Mr. Betsill, do you know what would be
great right now? A cold Dr. Pepper." You, reply, "Hey that
is a great idea, why don't you get me one out of your pack?"
Watch his amazement as he discovers he has been packing about 1/4
extra pounds. And to his delight, there is one in there for him too.
LOL!
That is about all I got right now.
Keep Clear!
Spartan Caver |
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Click here for a:
Camping & Hiking Check List
A handy checklist from ButlerWebs
to help you organize your camping trip.
Printable for your convenience!
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The Talking Pedometer tells you how far you've walked or jogged. Musical feature lets you listen to 7 melodies whose tempo increases or decreases to match your pace. Exercise has never been such fun! |
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We had so many good links for Camping Information, we moved
them to a separate page.
Click here for CAMPING
& HIKING LINKS
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This page was last edited 11/14/07.
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